Turning Points

When the Crossroad is a One-Way Street 

To everything, turn, turn, turn

There is a season, turn, turn, turn

And a time to every purpose under heaven - Peter Seegar 

As fireworks light up the night sky around the world on New Year’s Eve, there is a sense of renewal as we turn the page on the old and welcome the new. We make individual resolutions, plans and goals for the coming year. Of course, the idea that significant change happens at a specific date and time of our choice is just an illusion. That doesn’t diminish our hope. Our hope for a turning point that will magically improve our lives.  

Turning points in life appear in multiple ways. The world is always changing, so are we. While change is constant, it’s not always welcome. Turning points, even when positive, can shake our routines and sense of security. We’re creatures of habit and there is comfort in the familiar, even if it is imperfect. The old saying, “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t,” rings true for many of us. 

Turning points can be classified into several categories; recognizing them helps us manage them more effectively. First are the universal milestones: growing up, building relationships and finding our place in the world. Next come external turning points beyond our control like pandemics, technological shifts or climate change. Some occur by coincidence or synchronicity while others are triggered by personal crises, illness or accidents. Finally there are those turning points we create for ourselves through our choices. 

Throughout life we face choices that shape our future such as choosing a partner, a career or whether or not to have children. Each decision opens doors to opportunity or risk. Supportive relationships and meaningful work enhance our well-being while toxic relationships and dead-end jobs undermine it. Life-changing events such as births, breakups, divorces and loss become major turning points, for better or worse. 

“Big picture” turning points imposed upon us that reshape our lives are challenging in multiple ways. The world is changing at a dizzying pace and it’s easy to feel out of step. Cloud-based virtual operating, AI, floods, fires, droughts and political shifts can send shockwaves through our routines, forcing us to adapt ready or not. Losing a home, losing health insurance, losing a job, simply feeling out of sync with rapid technological and cultural change. No wonder we are all lost and confused – we just want a sense of security. 

There are the mysterious turning points that arrive through coincidence or synchronicity. Carl Jung described “synchronicity” as meaningful coincidences—moments when unrelated events align in ways that feel significant. Sometimes, just being in the right place at the right time can change everything. I once had a chance encounter that led me to leave England for New York and get married. A turning point so unexpected and unimagined.

Stories like these can be the stuff of dreams. In 2016, the British singer Seal heard a busker, Poppy Waterman-Smith, singing in Manchester. Moved by her voice, he invited her to open his show that night. Her talent along with the right place at the right time changed her life.  

But there’s also the wrong place, wrong time. Occassionally random events beyond our control have devastating consequences. Muhammad Aziz and Khalil Islam, for example, were wrongly convicted for the assassination of Malcolm X in 1965 despite their alibis and the real shooter’s confession. They spent decades in prison before being exonerated, their lives deeply scarred by forces beyond their control. 

Personal crises, like illnesses or accident, are common turning points. Years ago I broke my back in a riding accident. That experience prompted me to reevaluate my life and led to the creation of the Living With Inner Elegance initiative. When our routines are shattered, we face a choice: reassess what matters and use the disruption as a catalyst for growth or not. 

Then there are the turning points we initiate through our choice big or small, that shape not only our own lives but those around us. Every day, we face countless crossroads and, looking back, we can often trace our path to a single decision that changed everything. 
 
Choices driven by fear, like declining an opportunity out of self-doubt, can close doors we may never reopen. Choices made in anger or resentment can destroy trust and relationships. One reckless act, such as driving under the influence, can have lifelong consequences for oneself and others. Recklessly chasing the glitzy illusion of happiness can lead to disappointment or even heartbreak. 
 
A sense of a higher purpose will help you navigate turning points with more clarity and understanding. Choices made with integrity and courage - taking a leap of faith, standing up to injustice, leaving a toxic situation or helping someone in need - don’t guarantee an easy road but can pave the way for positive change and deeper fulfillment for ourselves and for those around us. 
 
So here’s a New Year's resolution that will last a lifetime. Rather than magic dates or impossible-to-keep personal resolutions, recognize that turning points, both big and small, predictable and unpredictable, are woven through the fabric of every year of your life. They’re rarely easy to navigate. Each one is an invitation to reflect and reset, an opportunity for growth and connection with others.

Whether you find yourself at the right place at the right time or blindsided by events, what matters is how you respond. The choice is yours every time. Every choice you make has a ripple effect that can directly affects the lives of others. That, more than any calendar or resolution, is where real change begins for us and for our planet.